ᙋ Format Kindle Download [ ዣ The Soul of Discipline: The Simplicity Parenting Approach to Warm, Firm, and Calm Guidance- From Toddlers to Teens ] ᚌ ePUB By Kim John Payne 쾞

ᙋ Format Kindle Download [ ዣ The Soul of Discipline: The Simplicity Parenting Approach to Warm, Firm, and Calm Guidance- From Toddlers to Teens ] ᚌ ePUB By Kim John Payne 쾞 ᙋ Format Kindle Download [ ዣ The Soul of Discipline: The Simplicity Parenting Approach to Warm, Firm, and Calm Guidance- From Toddlers to Teens ] ᚌ ePUB By Kim John Payne 쾞 1Disobedient or Disoriented How many times have we heard the expression Hes a lost soul We can sense when this is the case in someone close to us, such as a relative or friend, or even in a public figure in the wider community who causes us concern To be lost and have no one to help us find our way is the stuff of nightmares.No one likes to be disoriented, and few things in life are unsettling But children are particularly vulnerable when it comes to feeling lost and unsafe We know there is too much coming at them all the time in todays frenetic world Few adults among us have had to cope with the incessant stream of images, impressions, ideas, attitudes, and conflicting messages modern kids must navigate We are, quite frankly, living in the midst of an undeclared war on childhood Kids are exposed to too much and forced to grow up too quickly As a result, disorientation and heightened anxiety have become the new normal.So its no wonder that troubling behavior surfaces and often at home and at school As parents, we want to shield our children as much as possible, to provide a safe haven for them from the unrelenting buzzing and booming, the fever pitched pace of modern life.In this climate, disciplining a disobedient child can be quite challenging We often feel like we are fumbling in the dark We try so hard to say and do the right thing with the appropriate amount of energy and emphasis We want to guide our childrento teach them how to behave and how not to behave Our ultimate goal is to prepare them to handle themselves well as they set sail into modern societys often difficult waters.Setting the Foundation Understanding DisorientationThe way we perceive and approach misbehavior is the key to diffusing our childrens difficult and even explosive conduct A critical shift in our approach to parenting takes place when we begin to understand that there is no such thing as a disobedient child, only a disoriented one.In this chapter, we will examine our misconceptions about disobedience If we can see our kids challenging behavior as an attempt to orient themselves within the frenetic, confusing world they struggle to navigate, our role will shift from Disciplinarian in Chief or Crisis Management Specialist to Governor, Gardener, and Guide.The Pinging PrincipleChildren, tweens, and teens orient themselves in a number of ways They may read, play creatively, listen to a story, spend time in nature, delve into a hobby, or simply decompress while hanging out with family These types of activities form a protective sheath between them and the hardness of the real world They become the membrane through which kids process and digest all the good, the bad, and the busy things that happen in their lives Engaging in these kinds of activities is not just a form of coping Its how kids build resiliency and a burgeoning sense of self esteem When they can find a centered and peaceful place within, they can let go and regroup their inner resources What they are building is a sense of knowing who and where they are in their lives When they can do this, they feel safe and well oriented.But when there is too much going on in their lives, children lose their bearings and become disoriented This can trigger a reaction that often manifests as challenging behavior They push back against the world outside themselves Unfortunately, the outside world they push against tends to be those nearest and dearest to them It is so important to understand that their naughtiness or disrespect is not simply misbehavior but an attempt to come to some sort of balance in which they feel oriented and comfortable.I call this the Pinging Principle Just as a submarine navigator gets his or her bearings by sending out sonic pings that bounce off underwater objects and orient the ship to rocks or reefs, our children send out pings in the form of challenging behavior They nag, disrupt, or cryseeking a reaction from us that will help orient them This is their way of figuring out where they stand and what we want from them In other words, the interplay between our kids behavior and our adult reaction serves as a navigational system for them.Understanding this concept is a real game changer When I recognized that my child was not just being naughty but actually feeling lost and pinging me, it changed everything, one parent of a young child told me Instead of just reacting to his behavior, I could now look for its source and understand it better Another dad, with two young boys, said, I tested this pinging idea I watched each time my kids got antsy and fresh Amazingly, just about every time it was because our family life had gotten a bit whacko.I Dont Take It Personally AnyWhen kids misbehave, it is only natural for a parent to run through a dog eared catalog of self doubt and recrimination Some of the most common inscriptions on our personal parenting walls of shame are I wonder what I did wrong in raising them or, for the guilt wracked among us, who feel like untrained stand ins, Anyone else would deal with this better than me Who am I to be doing this The Imposter Syndrome is particularly onerous Like the Wizard of Oz, who makes great proclamations but feels small and unworthy behind that screen, we may feel unprepared, incapable, and lost just at a time when our kids most need us to be strong and oriented.Feeling unmoored, we take our childrens behavior personally In a flash, we can shift from self doubt and self recrimination to angry reactions, punctuated by comments like You will not speak to me that way, ever or Do it right now, mister, or you will have me to deal with Just about every parenting expert expounds on how we must stay calm in the face of bad behavior Good advice, but how Because unless we have a foothold on the how, the cycle of self blame will lead us right back to taking it personally That catapults us to as far from calm as a parent can be.When children are at their worst, we need to be at our best Danny and Suzannes story illustrates this well I met Suzanne at a parenting workshop I gave in Washington, D.C She was struggling with a very defiant boy Together we explored the difference between bad behavior and disorientation It was a real aha moment for me when I began to see that my son Forrests very difficult behavior was in fact a cry for orientation, she said Before we realized this, my husband Danny and I really struggled We treated Forrest like a little adult, presuming that he had much control over his behavior than he really did We figured he knew what he was doingthat he was trying to wind us up That led to all kinds of conflict and ugly scenes We figured he should know how to stop, and we told him so It might seem kind of crazy to get involved in a power struggle with a four year old, but that is exactly where we were.Danny was at his wits end too Id get so exasperated The I insisted Forrest was making bad choices about his behaviorthat he should be capable of controlling himselfthe out of control he got I can see now that his behavior wasnt bad it was desperate But back then I would get into these battles with him You cant believe how personal it got But I felt he was disrespecting me as a person, and it really pushed my buttons.When Suzanne told Danny about the Pinging Principle, it made perfect sense to them both, but it upended their ingrained attitude toward their son and his behavior This new way of seeing the problem was scary and hopeful all at the same time, said Suzanne But the one thing it did immediately was to shift us away from taking Forrests antics personally You just cant take it personally any when your son has a meltdown if youve found a place within yourself to ask, What does he need to orient himself What can I do to help In the few seconds we spend asking ourselves these questions, we move from being reactive and taking it too personally to seeing the underlying forces and staying much centered, to becoming the kind of parents we always wanted to be.Forrest still has occasional meltdowns, and he still pushes back But Suzanne and Danny are relieved and grateful that the length and intensity of the difficult behavior has diminished to such a degree that its unrecognizable Suzanne and Danny have undergone their own transformation As Danny put it, Its like Im me now, not some weird person arguing with a four year old.Does the Pinging Principle apply when a child is being deliberately challenging The answer is yes Even when children misbehave on purpose, they need guidance Whether pinging behavior is conscious or unconscious, it is still a cry for help.A woman well call Claire wrote to me about an experience she had when she was five years old Her mother had just returned to full time work after being an ever present stay at home mom Little Claire decided to go on an adventure She walked to an abandoned warehouse four blocks from her home to explore all the really good junk she imagined she would find there Whats worse, she took her three year old sister with her I knew very well it was against the rules, she said, but I did it anyway A scary looking man discovered them coming out of the building He called out, Go home, girls They did just that, running all the way Their parents were shocked when Claires younger sister spilled the whole story that afternoon, and they watched the children closely for a long time afterward.Reflecting on her actions, Claire said, I am not sure if doing this was directly related to my mother going back to work, but I suspect I was feeling the need for their attention I guess it was natural for my parents to worry after my adventure and make sure we stayed in the yard, but I certainly never would have done something like that again The fact that Claires parents were so attentive after their scare made her feel safe again Her willful disregard of the rules was quite clearly a call for attention and orientation.Orientation Through PlayAny parent who observes their child deep in play knows how much kids try to make sense of what they have seen or heard through playing Deep, absorbing play gives a child a sense of contentment and safety Many of lifes stresses reappear as games Playing through these issues is how kids orient themselves inwardly.As I walked by a group of eight year old children one sunny morning in May, I overheard them chanting a jump rope rhyme It went something like this Soccer on Monday,Playdates on Tuesday,Ballet on Wednesday,Soccer on Thursday,Playdates on Friday,Soccer on Saturday.Sunday aint no rest.What stopped my heart about this seemingly innocuous rhyme is that it didnt detail the overwhelming, overscheduled life of just one or two of the kids on the playground Every last kid had his or her own individual jump rope chant And each song described a childs fever pitched pace of life Music lessons, various sports, aftercare at school, and homework were recurring themes Here is another one that I quickly jotted down Piano on Monday,Swimming on Tuesday,Tutor on Wednesday,Piano on Thursday,Swimming on Friday,Shopping on SaturdayHomework every dayno rest Here all the children shouted out One child who moved back and forth between her mothers and fathers homes had an even simpler chant Mommy on Monday,Daddy on Tuesday,Mommy on Wednesday,Daddy on Thursday,Mommy on Friday,Dont know Saturday,Sunday maybe restphew One couple I spoke to returned from a checkup at the pediatricians office expecting that their children would want to play a game of doctors and nurses But the doctors office had been frenetic and exasperating, and it had been clear that the staff struggled to keep up with the demands of the clinic Thats exactly the message the kids absorbed Day after day they played a game they called Health Security Office They sat inside a big cardboard box office for hours drawing up forms on clipboards in their best tiny writing, with lots of boxes to check Then they instructed their parents to wait outside a cutout window for long periods of time while they frantically answered their play phone From time to time, the children would look up over their homemade eyeglasses and ask, Yes What in a well practiced, annoyed tone Thrusting clipboard and pen at the parents, theyd say, Please read the in suctions and answer every one of our questions This scene was repeated over and over until they had played the stress of the visit out of their systems.When Normal Becomes Not So NormalWhen overscheduling or an anxiety inducing experience pushes a child off balance, his or her own darling quirksthe very things we love about our childs personality at any other timebecome exacerbated and suddenly annoy or even infuriate parents One helpful tip Consider your childs temperament Extroverted personalities fall into either what I call The Leader Type, a child who can become very dominant and controlling when off balance, and The Creative Type, a child who can become unfocused or even hysterical in this type of situation Introverted types whom you might describe as Easygoing in other situations can become very stubborn and rigid when off balance If your child is a Intuitive introvert, he or she may become overly sensitive and feel victimized by a harried pace of life Whether your child is an introvert or an extrovert, stress affects behavior in very specific ways.Sarah, a single mom with two children, consulted me about her daughters inflamed temperament My thirteen year old daughter Lucy tends to be out there in the lead A courageous girl who excels in sports, she is not afraid to work really hard However, when we moved out of our house and town last year, she became impossible I was at my wits end because I was relying on her to pitch in and help, as I knew she could But instead she became bossy and fixated on having everything done her way Suddenly Lucy, who has always been a watchful big sister and my right hand girl, doubled my workload with her demands and shenanigans.Advance praise for The Soul of Discipline The Soul of Discipline offers practical tools for helping parents implement discipline thats respectful and effective, but the book is so much Kim John Payne offers a framework to guide parents in making decisions about why, when, and how to hold tighter reins as we build skills in our children, and why, when, and how to loosen the reins as we scaffold freedom.Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D., co author of No Drama Discipline This book gets deep inside the challenge of getting along with children and teens and thinks deeply about what they need from us to become strong and self managing It elevates discipline to what it should bea caring process of helping kids orient to the world and live in it happily and well.Steve Biddulph, author of The New Manhood Kim Payne provides a useful model for choosing our parenting stanceGovernor, Gardener, or Guidedepending on the situation Most powerfully, Payne begins with the radical view that children are not disobedient but rather disoriented The upshot of this shift in perspective is that discipline is about helping children orient themselves effectively, not about controlling or chastising.Lawrence J Cohen, Ph.D., author of Playful Parenting The Soul of Discipline draws on Kim John Paynes years of gifted school and family counseling to show us with its clear and simple tone how to discipline without becoming our childrens enemy It is filled with memorable stories, dialogues that will engage your imagination, and great strategies By the books end, a new picture of parenting will live in you, one that will honor the soul of your children as you provide the structure, training, and guidance they need at each stage of their development.Dee Joy Coulter, Ed.D., author of Original Mind What is the human soul GotQuestions Question What Answer The Bible not perfectly clear as to nature of But from studying way word used in Scripture, we can come some conclusions Simply stated, part a person that physical Soul Spirit Meaning When writing about soul, writers Hebrew ne phesh or Greek psykhe These two words occur well over times Scriptures, and New World Translation renders them either main text footnotes Soul Definition by Merriam Webster Connie s deep characters have served chief entertainment for millions families lazy weekends snowy afternoons The new machine Orange County Register days agoThirty five years ago Tracy Kidder electrified readers with his Machine, which detailed development minicomputer Today may be seeing emergence another On , Peri Psych Latin De Anima major treatise written Aristotle c BC Although its topic it spirituality but rather work what might best described biopsychology description subject psychology within biological framework Difference Christian Courier term nephesh found than Old Testament Because variety contextual meanings, always rendered English King James Version uses different translate original religion philosophy Britannica Epicureans considered made up atoms like rest body For Platonists, was an immaterial incorporeal substance, akin gods yet world change becoming conception obscure, though he did state form inseparable difference between spirit man spirit, center many spiritual emotional experiences Job Psalm Jeremiah refer whole person, whether alive on earth afterlife are connected, separable Hebrews essence humanity being who Is Questions translation psykheThe literally means creature breathes, religious, philosophical, mythological traditions, livingPeople Department Engineering Science Listing function Academic Staff Administrative Technical restricted access Alphabetical listing Please select first letter surname Kim Fowley Wikipedia Kim Vincent July January American record producer, singer, songwriter musician He known role behind string novelty cult pop rock singles s, managing Runaways has been one most colorful annals roll, shadowy figure Kardashian Photos, News Videos Just Jared Dec appearance last night Jimmy Kimmel Live play game Ridiculous Questions One questions asked Search Results St Louis Business Journal Search Journal Fields IMDb born May York City, York, USA Victoria She actress director, Facts Life Living Single Expect You re Expecting Liam Payne Ethnicity Celebs Nationality Liam I Am Bolt Premiere Arrivals Odeon Leicester Square London, UK Photo Credit Landmark PR Photos CKJH Your station will momentarily ONdemand Player Support C S A Celebrity Sex Stories Archive Title Harem Keep Feeling Fascination And Many Fantasies Were Learned Part Ten Author KMB Sarah Michelle Gellar, Jessica Alba, Reese Witherspoon, Ariel Winter, Hyland, Shanelle Gray, Rosario Dawson, Natalie Portman, CFA Catalog Fees Dues Annual Club Dues club fee membership insurance surcharge current list must received Central Office February each year order eligible vote CFA elections Max Fall Max third shooter, player assumes Payne, plays Mona Sax few levels Initially, weapon mm pistol As they progress, players weapons including other handguns, shotguns, submachine guns, assault rifles, sniper hand thrown WeSmirch Never miss hot celeb story juiciest celebrity news all around web single page The Soul of Discipline: The Simplicity Parenting Approach to Warm, Firm, and Calm Guidance- From Toddlers to Teens


    • The Soul of Discipline: The Simplicity Parenting Approach to Warm, Firm, and Calm Guidance- From Toddlers to Teens
    • 3.4
    • 267
    • Format Kindle
    • 0345548671
    • Kim John Payne
    • Anglais
    • 08 May 2016

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *