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ᥨ Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome: One Woman's Desperate, Funny, and Healing Journey to Explore 30 Religions by Her 30th Birthday torrenting ᦢ By Reba Riley ᦹ

ᥨ Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome: One Woman's Desperate, Funny, and Healing Journey to Explore 30 Religions by Her 30th Birthday torrenting ᦢ By Reba Riley ᦹ ᥨ Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome: One Woman's Desperate, Funny, and Healing Journey to Explore 30 Religions by Her 30th Birthday torrenting ᦢ By Reba Riley ᦹ Post Traumatic Church Syndrome 1 Falling Whats a girl like you doing stuck in a place like this the bartender asked, muscles straining against his hotel uniform as he threw down a cocktail napkin in front of me I looked around three barstools, four fake dusty palm trees, fluorescent lighting This was the kind of joint that offered vending machines in lieu of room service It was a bad day, Josh, I replied, reading his name tag You have any pinot grigio back there Of course, honey Josh moved his toffee colored hands to pour me a glass Why was it a bad day Rocking a Vin Dieselstyle bald head over a broad grin and big brown eyes, Josh the bartender seemed like the perfect person to spill my story to It helped that he was a captive audience and I his only customer I twisted into a bar stool, unloaded my laptop bag, and sighed Okay so this morning I left my house in Columbus to drive to a rural Kentucky lumberyard for a sales presentationI sell nails and power tools Josh arched one brow in surprise I know, I know I dont seem like the kind of woman who would hang around in lumberyards But remember the job market in 2009 Why do you think Im behind this bar Josh laughed, gesturing dramatically to our surroundings I dropped my head and groaned Our nails penetrate thirty three percent faster due to superior lubrication I regularly have to say those exact words to the kind of men who drink beer for breakfast and have girlie calendars in their work trucks Josh pursed his lips in a sour look that read I may like men, but not that kind Lubricated nails I hid my face in mock shame Oh, honey, he said, patting my shoulder Its okay We do what we have to do So true I raised my glass in a faux toast Anywaytoday, after four hours in the car, I arrived in the parking lot of a strip club I checked the address and called the lumberyard The owner said, Maam, youre at the right address in the wrong state Josh put a hand on his hip You should have just gone right on in Strippers need lubricated nails, too Mid sip, I nearly snorted wine up my nose Josh, youre exactly who I needed to talk to today He gave a little bow Im here all night, princess Just wait It gets worse I took a long swig An hour later I hit a huge pothole, blew out two tires, and broke both axles The tow truck guy who showed up was this little redheaded dude in green overalls who spoke in a thick Irish accent He took one look at my car and said, Lady, did you forget to have a beer on St Patricks Day Your knight in shining armor was a leprechaun Josh lowered his chin in disbelief A leprechaun who chain smoked the entire way back to Cincinnati I sniffed my hair Marlboros, ick He dropped me off here while my car gets twelve hundred dollars worth of repairs Josh clucked with concern I rubbed my face Today is only the latest in a string of bad car luck In the past two months Ive had four other tire blow outs, one dead battery, one stopped starter, and two car break ins Im on a first name basis with the AAA dispatcher, and my mechanic gave me his cell phone number with great seriousness, like he was a surgeon on call Probably because youre putting his kids through college Thats like the reverse of finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, Josh sympathized I think you need another drink This ones on me Thanks, I said, sitting back on my stool and considering my absurd day You know what the leprechaun tow truck driver reminded me of The Smurfs I wasnt allowed to watch the Smurfs growing up because my parents thought they were demonic I was surprised to hear these words leave my mouth this was not a Fun Life Fact to be casually shared like cocktail peanuts with a bartender Joshs posture changed from easy listening bartender to Marine at attention No effing way Me too A teacher at my school said Papa Smurf was a symbol for the anti Christ, just because he wore a red hat and all the other Smurfs wore white hats I tilted my head sideways and said slowly, Where did you go to school It couldnt have been Josh beat me to the punch line by breaking out into our small Christian elementary schools fight song I joined in melodically as we burst out laughing Shut the hell up, exclaimed Josh, his jaw slack You seem so normal and not Christian y Thank you The normal part is up for debate I thought of the portion of my bad day that I hadnt told Josh about, the part where I slumped over my steering wheel, sleeping at a rest stop because chronic illness made me too tired to drive three hours at a stretch But I definitely havent been Christian y in almost a decade Josh peered at me in belated recognition Wait Are you the music teachers daughter Rebecca I nodded My mom had taught at Bridgeville Christian all the years my younger sisters and I attended Its Reba now, I said and smiled Thats Rebecca without the ecc Reba Girl This is crazy Josh threw his towel over one shoulder and leaned back Remember the dress code Bible classes Scripture memorization Never ending altar calls Oh, and the offense systemfive offenses equaled a paddling The principal once paddled me after I got caught making fun of the art teacher I used to roll under the pews to escape chapel services, and then go smoke pot in the woods Josh laughed, but the sound was laced with something I knew too well grief To understand our evangelical school, simply take everything normal and stir in a measure of God Learning to read Start with My First Bible and a recording of Bible Stories for Little Ears Note the Proverbs themed wallpaper in the reading group corner Starting the school day Pledge allegiance to the American flag, the Christian flag, and the Bible Doing math Enjoy lessons from Beyond Math Arithmetic from a Biblical Worldview Even numbers werent neutral Truly, there was not any aspect of life that could not be improved by invoking Christ Even bathroom breaks could be accomplished to the glory of God, if one flushed the toilet with a joyful spirit Wow I was way too spiritual and serious back then to even think about rebelling, let alone doing drugs All I ever worried about was whether Jesus was proud of me God was my everything I paused and looked into my glass Would you believe I was in ministry training I wanted to be a Christian counselor I even went through years of Christian college and studied at the Focus on the Family Institute Josh winced at the mention of Focus on the Family, an organization known for encouraging people like him to pray the gay away I exhaled a weary breath that far exceeded my rough day on the road We both fell silent for a minute God was my everything too Josh took a deep breath Until I came out I mean, thats the simple version Losing faith happens by degrees You dont have to tell me I lived it Not the coming out partunless you count coming out as a nonbeliever The losing faith by degrees part Josh and I stared at each other in silent understanding We hadnt left our religion our religion had left us We didnt need to explain to each other what it means to lose your entire identity, or how it feels to lie to yourselfFaith doesnt matter, I dont need God, I can get along just fine on my owneven when you know the lies will never be true I lifted my glass in an attempt to brighten the mood To God, I toasted, the heaviest word in the English language, the word most likely to make me feel like Ive been punched in the stomach The joke fell flat Even in jest, God was far too intertwined with a gray haired father in the sky who doled out eternal punishment to anyone who didnt pray to his shiny son, Jesus Christ I tried again To the Godiverse The what iverse Josh looked puzzled Godiverse, I explained Thats God plus the Universethe word I came up with for Something thats bigger than the Trinity we grew up with, but smaller and personal than the great beyond To the Godiverse, Josh agreed We clinked glasses, but our heaviness didnt lift Man This Post Traumatic Church Syndrome stuff sucks, I exclaimed, slamming my glass down in emphasis Josh cracked a smile at my phrase, so I continued Cmon I know you know the PTCS symptoms Prayer is out of the question the Bible is something you use to mop up spilled coffee you cant darken the door of a place of worship without sweaty palms, vertigo, chest pains, nausea, and vomiting In an effort to keep things fun, I didnt mention the destructive side effects of spiritual injury anger, grief, despair, depression, failure to believe in anything, moral confusion, loss of gravity, and emptiness You may also experience hives, dry mouth, and a general tendency to avoid church like an escaped convict avoids cops Josh laughed Wow I definitely had one major case of Post Traumatic Church Syndrome Had I must have missed something It seems like youre still suffering He looked away, thinking I get upset when I think about all the years I lost because I let other people decide how I could find God But a few years ago, I started going back to the Nazarene church I grew up in and Ive made my peace with it I choked on my wine Nazarenes werent exactly gay friendly, and Josh wasnt entirely subtle How does that work I realized my past didnt have to shackle me The pain fell away from his features, replaced by peace I decided to believe what I believe, practice what I practice, and not let anyone or anything get in the way of how I choose to find God I dont let other people think for me I tried very hard to be happy for Josh, but the best I could manage was a fake smile Good for you, I managed to stutter, my thoughts turned upside down Peace what a beautiful, unattainable state Or was it If Josh could find peace, could I And what would it mean if I did I yawned and threw down some cash Its been a really long day Im going to turn in Its been great talking to you Promising to keep in touch, we exchanged information and hugs Reba, Josh called as I walked away, Rejecting someone elses version of reality isnt the same as creating your own Its a nice idea, I thought later, crawling into my hotel bed, but Im way too tired to think about dealing with my spiritual issues When I fell asleep, I dreamed of a large, unmarked van parked on the street in front of my house God, shaggy haired and lanky, hung out in the vans back cab smoking a cigarette Come to think of it, God looked a lot like Ashton Kutcher A black and white closed circuit television blinked on with a live feed of my life God watched the screen for a minute before he blew out a slow smoke circle and turned to his divine camera crew Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, and the entire cast of Full House You guys ready God asked The crew nodded, serious as church Okay, God said as he put on his headphones and cracked his knuckles Ready Set Action BABY, YOU HAVE TO get up Everyone is going to be here soon, Trent whispered from the edge of the bed Cancel, I croaked from beneath the pillow But its your party, my husband insisted, nuzzling my neck I attempted to move my limbs As usual for a lost daya day I lost to chronic illnessmy body felt full of lead I lifted the pillow and looked into my husbands clear blue eyes Is it really too late to cancel Its 5 p.m People are already on their way He flashed an encouraging Superman grin And I brought you espresso Untangling my body from the sheets, I gritted my teeth and searched inside myself for birthday cheer Nothing Ill be ready in an hour, I promised, dragging my drink to the shower in hopes that the combination of steam and caffeine would loosen the Sicknesss painful grip on my body Wrapped in a towel, I stepped from the shower twenty minutes later and wiped steam from the mirror My dripping reflection looked exhausted, so I forced a plastic smile and pantomimed a silent laugh until the mirror reflected the image I made sure everyone saw a happy woman with green eyes and long, dark hair who had it allgreat husband, successful career, new puppy, high credit score A carefree woman who didnt suffer from a painful, chronic mystery Sickness that forced her to sleep her days away A woman who feels a hollow void where her faith used to live, came an unbidden thought Whoa Where did that come from I looked around my tiny bathroom, suspecting my shower curtain of spiritual harassment It looked guilty of nothing than being a little too red Shrugging off the intrusion, I returned to my smiling exercise until I felt the Sickness ripple through my joints I braced against the pain with one hand on the sink and one on the mirror, taking deep breaths When the pain lessened, I looked at my ashen reflection and saw the woman I really was the one who had been crying in doctors offices for years, asking why she couldnt be well A woman whose spirit is even sicker than her body I looked around accusingly again, this time at my throw rug, whose only failure was being not quite red enough The Sickness gripped my joints again But somehow, beyond the muscle spasms and cramping, I felt the prick of a much deeper pain, one that had been steadily building ever since Id run into Josh several weeks before I need to believe again I scanned myself for other signs of craziness foaming at the mouth, perhaps I wondered if maybe I was still asleep Yes, that had to be it But I felt the steam on my shoulders, the bristling of the towel on my skin, the cool linoleum beneath my feet I need Joshs peace No, no, no I tried to resist but it was no use because chronic illness doesnt fight fair It weakens us and exposes our deepest pains and betrayals just when our body is in pain and betraying us The dam of denial Id carefully constructed around my Post Traumatic Church Syndromethe one Id had to create in order to rebuild my life without Godhad been slowly but steadily dismantled by the Sickness, and I hadnt noticed until it was too late Angry tears filled my eyes Wasnt it bad enough that I couldnt fix my body That Id spent tens of thousands of dollars on doctors, specialists, chiropractors, naturalists, counselors, herbalists, massage therapists, medications, exercises, special diets, and magic vitamins That Id donated so much blood to testing that I was surprised I had any left That Id had everything from MRIs to chakras read and reread All that money and no diagnosis that fit All those treatments and nothing that helped My body was getting steadily, heartbreakingly worse And I was powerless to do anything about it And now this spiritual crap, too It was too much Knees turned to jelly, I made it only three paces to the walk in closet before collapsing to the worn, tan carpet beneath a rack of old coats Tears spilled from my eyes, mixing with the water droplets from my hair to form small rivers on my skin I cried because I was too tired to fight, and I cried because the Sickness had worn me down, making me fragile where I used to be strong Then, following the Universal Law of Meltdowns, I cried about embarrassingly trivial things the stacks of undone to do lists and the overflowing, stinky laundry basket next to me in the closet I cried because I was going to have to wear ugly panties to my birthday party, damn it, because Id been too sick to do laundry for ages For the record, these panties were very unfortunate lookingthe kind of full rise, back of the drawer paisley number that stretch from belly button to thigh It didnt matter that no one was going to see them it was the principle I cried because this seemed a sad metaphor for my lifehow everything awful was just barely hidden under a sparkly dress But most of all, I cried because I wanted to fix my spirit but I didnt know how Its not like I could return to the faith of my childhood the speaking in tongues, falling on the floor, believe it all or believe it none gospel with a fiery hell for everyone who didnt buy in to Christ Though, at the moment, running backward felt almost tempting I knew I could simply curl up in a pew, clutch a Bible, and rest But to do that, Id have to repent with words I couldnt spit out, admit to sins I hadnt committed No I could not go back there I would not believe in a God who did not believe in me Post Traumatic Church Syndrome is a bitch But I need to believe again, my heart disagreed, beating louder than my objections I dont want to be broken any Too weak and vulnerable to resist the thoughts, I put my head on my knees and allowed myself to wonder if there might be something bigger than the narrow religion Id crashed into every time I considered faith Something big enough to consider believing in I issued a strangled sob in the direction of the Godiverse Help me believe, I said from the floor of my closet, naked and shivering and crying Heal me Id like to take credit for what happened next Id like to think I had some hand in creating the project that would overtake my life for the next year But I didnt The idea came fully formed, slipped under the door of my consciousness, a birthday card from the Godiverse Experience thirty religions before your thirtieth birthday Surprised, I blinked and sniffed My tears abruptly stopped The crazy idea fit me approximately as well as a prison jumpsuit Considering the state I was currently in thanks to the mysterious Sickness, my twenty ninth year was not a good time for taking on a spiritual quest My twenty ninth year was not a good time for taking anything but a nap I didnt even want to go to my own birthday party, for Petes sake, let alone work through my spiritual issues And what would it mean to experience thirty religions anyway How would I choose them The idea was full of problems 1 I was sick 2 I was too sick to travel 3 I was barely hanging on to my life and my job as it was I assumed it was only a matter of time before the people in my life found out I was faking everything from my daily schedule to Grandmas Special Recipe homemade macaroni Transfer Sara Lee to baking dish Sprinkle crumpled potato chips on top Heat and serve If I added one thing, I feared my life would end up a sad country song I would lose my job, house, car, husband, and dog, then end up sleeping under a bench because I would be too tired to sit on it But the rebellious part of me, the part that needed Joshs peace, the part that had asked to believe again, answered right back You could do it You wouldnt have to travel very far And it started making a mental list Hindu Buddhist Scientology Amish Native American Mormon Orthodox Muslim and then it added the most seductive idea of all You are powerless over your body, but you can fix your spirit My head snapped up This was nuts Fixing my PTCS seemed as impossible as healing my body No, I said as firmly as I could Absolutely NOT And I promptly ran the other way Okay, I didnt actually runI was still a very sick girl and my closet was much too small to run anywhere Plus, I was naked and I think we can all agree that running naked, even away from the Godiverse in your very own house, is a bad idea But the idea of thirty religions forced me to my personal equivalent of running I stood up, got dressed, put on my best fake beauty queen smile, and walked out the front door to my party My friends gathered just beyond the porch Still distracted by what had just happened in the closet, I waved hello as I approached the steps My high heeled shoe caught on a nail and I heard the small crowd heave a collective, horrified gasp as my feet flew out from under me If this had been a cartoon, I would have levitated horizontally for a moment before I bumped down the steps with a thud thud thud thud I landed with a hard thwack on the concrete, my skirt upside down like an umbrella in a hurricane, flashing my husband, friends, two bums on the sidewalk, and the entire Baptist church across the street Hey baby, I heard one of the bums call, Id have paid for that show Well If Id known I was going to flash God and everybody, Id have worn cuter panties Trent ran to my aid Are you hurt Did you break anything I tested my lower half Though everything still worked, moving was painful I think broken is a relative term, I muttered Trent offered his hand I considered not getting up, but recognized the pain of staying down was worse than the pain of attempting to stand This year can only go up from here, I said as my husband steadied me on my feet I couldnt have been wrong.Hilarious, courageous, provocative, profound Reba Riley brings the light for seekers of all paths, reminding us that every journey of transformation begins exactly where we are If the Pray in Eat, Pray, Love had a gutsy, wise, funny little sister who d never been to India, it would be Post Traumatic Church Syndrome Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love and The Signature of All Things Whatever your beliefs or lack thereof, whether you pay heed to a savior or a spirit animal, you should read this moving, funny, thoughtful book Reba Riley has traveled the unlikely mystic s path and come back with an enormously entertaining, immensely hopeful report A.J Jacobs, author of The Year of Living Biblically and My Life as an Experiment PTCS is a brilliant, emotional and audacious rampage through religious sensibility, an exploration I recommend without hesitation Enjoy Wm Paul Young, author of The Shack and Cross Roads Riley s debut gently offersa powerful love that is greater than any single religious expression Publishers Weekly Reba Riley is a natural born storyteller and writer who I expect to be reading for many years to come Brian D McLaren, author speaker at brianmclaren.net If your soul has ever doubted, if your feet have ever lost their way, if your halo s always just a little askew, or if your heart has been wounded by a faith community, Reba Riley s humorous, honest memoir about exploring the Godiverse is just the thing for you Sarah Thebarge, author of The Invisible Girls Post Traumatic Church Syndrome is real Been there done that If you have been there too, this book is going to let you know you are not alone Prepare to be encouraged to leave outright abuse of spiritual power and dogma of the kind that kills the soul Prepare to survive Courageous and wonderful, Reba Riley to the rescue Frank Schaeffer, author of Why I Am an Atheist Who Believes in God Rileys book is so compelling beautifully written, exceedingly funny, and refreshingly honest As she described her journey of spiritual and physical healing, I rooted for her with every page Rileys story is also compelling because it is our story, our journey We can identify with her spiritual pain, her questions, her prejudices, her fears Her experience proves that if we are willing to open ourselves up and listen, we too can find God everywhere and know the Love that is for us all It is a book of profound hope Kristen Vincent, author of A Bead and a Prayer Post Traumatic Church Syndrome is a literary and philosophical triumph Reba Riley reveals the strength of spirit through the vulnerability of flesh with tears, laughter and soul stirring moments of profound revelation Her first bookcertainly not her lastis so much than a memoir about faith its a celebration of all that defines the human condition Christian Piatt, author of postChristian and Pregmancy Written with beckoning eloquence and humor, Reba Riley describes an amazing interfaith journey through the depth of her broken humanity in a quest for healing and the face of God Post Traumatic Church Syndrome is a most valuable and inspirational guide to those on a path toward enlightenment, and especially to those seeking healing from spiritual abuse It should be on the shelves of every counseling center and divinity school Franklyn Schaefer, author of Defrocked and a United Methodist minister Post Traumatic God How the Church Cares for After traumatic events, many especially young people turn away from presents a path home, providing way back to who can be trusted, loved, and worshipped Post Stress Disorder Here Help Learn about post stress disorder PTSD Find symptoms, treatments, self management strategies, places go help Complex complex ptsd, pdsd I only recognised bullying was cause of my when read this Symptoms Complex Disorder, survivor guilt trauma caused by bullying, harassment, abuse abusive life experiences Northlake Baptist Thompson Bridge Road On Wednesday Night, September th, we will have discussion Opioid Epidemic in our community In Fall edition Communicare magazine published Northeast Georgia Health System main subject drug ISTSS Home Crimes Father, Thomas Keneally, former seminarian author Booker Prize winning Shindler s List, takes on history widespread sexual Catholic as it began revealed sIn Keneally novel, Pat Barker Regeneration Trilogy World War I, its effects are shown perspectives, including that Headaches Head Injuries Headaches Headache immediately following head injury usually clears after minutes or days but sometimes headaches may persist months rarely years The long term called concussion One understand why follow Turning Unicorn into Bat Which We Five half ago wife, Lolly, sat together at hotel Las Vegas, nervously composing coming out would, unbeknownst us, change lives nearly every imaginable Traumatic Dealing with Trauma Disaster Disturbing Event emotional toll event intense, confusing, frightening emotions HBOT Chronic Brain Injury Hyperbaric HBOT brain is characterized mechanical forces which disrupt tissue addition all destructive inflammatory ischemic hypoxic processes other injuries Church Archives Crisis Magazine With latest revelations concerning clergy, has once again asked question What done answer often given married clergy What Oxygen Therapy HBOT description simple film made conference Bratislava, Goz show benefits Harch Inc offers treatment USA TBI, PTSD, Diabetes, Autism, Cerebral Palsy, Parkinson s, Carbon Monoxide Poisoning, Vitae Dawson Church Vitae Brief Biography Church, PhD, an award whose best selling book Genie Your Genes YourGeniusGene been hailed reviewers breakthrough understanding link between geneticsHis up title Mind Matter, MindToMatterub reviews science peak mental states Surviving Gay Barely Marble Torso Athlete, Roman Imperial, circa st nd Century AD , walked world famous Castro District San Francisco Military Resources Military military veterans coping Courage Beyond draws unique group individuals personal experience Iraq Afghanistan warWe your shoes struggled regain find new normal home Reba McEntire Night Lights Went Out Jun Music video Reba performing C MCA Nashville Porn Videos Pornhub Watch porn videos free, here Pornhub Discover growing collection high quality Most Relevant XXX movies clips No sex tube popular features scenes than Browse through impressive selection HD any device you own And Sister Give Angelic Performance Of McEntire, country music legend rose incredible fame late continues influence fans worldwide her empowering songs infectious personality Born raised Oklahoma, mother formerly aspiring artist taught siblings different Star Husband Have Boy PEOPLE Melissa Peterman, plays wacky dental hygienist Barbra Jean WB Reba, husband, actor John Billy Lee Riley Wikipedia Billy October August American rockabilly musician, singer songwriter, record producer His most memorable recordings include Rock Me Baby, Flyin Saucers Roll Red Hot Madison TJ Huff MQ Photo Shoot Raw responses Madison Pingback Emily Ratajkowski Kim Kardashian Topless Message Links TopBabesBlog Haiku Boobies Ashley Graham Daily PRETTY HOT SEXY Thigh High Thursdays Back Yes Bitch Country News, New Songs, Videos, Music Get news, watch shows, exclusive performances favorite artists CMT rocky Chanteur US n le Octobre Pocahontas Arkansas dbut en la Sun Records de Memphis Tennessee En aprs avoir particip nombreuses sessions tant que musicien, quitte et devient un harmoniciste rput chez Mercury Close Corter Labs Close Labs small Pennsylvania licensed kennel located acre farm beautiful Susquehanna Valley North Central PA River Oaks Bookstore Westheimer River Blvd Houston, Texas Telephone Fax Monday Saturday am pm Lyrics, Tabs, Chords Country Fans lyrics, guitar tabs tablatures, chords source Phil SHAUN Show Reviews rockabillyhall Phil Shaun Much archived material found these pages co written Davies still occasionally contributes articles The Kennedy Center Honors December hold annual national celebration arts Honors Artists honored actress Cher, composer pianist Philip Glass, entertainer jazz saxophonist Wayne Shorter This year, CJVR station play momentarily ONdemand Player Technical Support I Don t Deserve A Mansion lyrics Jeannie Riley intended use only, wonderful gospel recorded It Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome: One Woman's Desperate, Funny, and Healing Journey to Explore 30 Religions by Her 30th Birthday

 

    • Post-Traumatic Church Syndrome: One Woman's Desperate, Funny, and Healing Journey to Explore 30 Religions by Her 30th Birthday
    • 1.1
    • 18
    • Format Kindle
    • 368 pages
    • 1501125672
    • Reba Riley
    • Anglais
    • 13 March 2016

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