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✋ Best How to Break Your Addiction to a Person: When--and Why--Love Doesn't Work to read ̺ Kindle Ebook By Howard Halpern ᾯ

✋ Best How to Break Your Addiction to a Person: When--and Why--Love Doesn't Work to read ̺ Kindle Ebook By Howard Halpern ᾯ ✋ Best How to Break Your Addiction to a Person: When--and Why--Love Doesn't Work to read ̺ Kindle Ebook By Howard Halpern ᾯ 1Prisoner of Love Maybe the Surgeon General hasn t determined it yet, but staying in a bad relationship may be dangerous to your health It can shake your self esteem and destroy your self confidence as surely as smoking can damage your lungs When people say that their relationship with their partner a lover or spouse is killing them, it may be true The tensions and chemical changes caused by stress can throw any of your organ systems out of kilter, can drain your energy, and lower your resistance to all manner of unfriendly bugs And often it can drive one to the overuse of unhealthy escapes, such as alcohol, amphetamines, barbiturates, narcotics, tranquilizers, reckless pursuits, and even overt suicidal acts.But even if there were no threat to your health, staying too long in a relationship that is deadening, or deadly, can cloud your life with frustration, anger, emptiness, and despair You may have tried to improve it, to breathe life back into it, but you have found that your efforts have been futile and demoralizing You are certainly not alone Many basically rational and practical people find that they are unable to leave a relationship even though they can see that it is bad for them Their best judgment and their self respect tell them to end it, but often, to their dismay, they hang on They speak and act as if something were holding them back, as if their relationship was a prison and they were locked in Friends and psychotherapists may have pointed out to them that in reality their prison door is wide open and that all they need do is step outside And yet as desperately unhappy as they are, they hold back Some of them approach the threshold, then hesitate Some may make brief sallies outside, but quickly retreat to the safety of prison in relief and despair Something in them wants out Something in them knows that they were not meant to live this way Yet people, in droves, choose to remain in their prisons, making no effort to change them except, perhaps, to hang pretty curtains over the bars and paint the walls in decorator colors They may end up dying in a corner of their cell without having really been alive for years.Every day I listen to the struggles of men and women who feel imprisoned in unsatisfying relationships.Alice I m slowly growing crazy with Burt He s so cut off from his feelings and so unresponsive to me that I feel I m with a robot In the beginning he was kind of romantic, but now there s nothing coming from him but silence and disinterest When I complain he says that s the way he is Even though I m so frustrated and miserable, I can t get myself to leave him In fact, I get very frightened when I think about it seriously Jason Dee is irresponsible and selfish much of the time She ll put me down before other people and sometimes flirt with other men right in front of me If I get annoyed, she accuses me of trying to suffocate her, but I ve checked it out with my friends and they say that she really does give me a hard time so much so that they sometimes wince for me At this point, I can t see anything she gives me, yet whatever is binding me to her seems stronger than I am.Maureen I know Brad will never leave his wife I see that I m destroying myself and wasting years of my life by staying involved with him, but each time I ve tried to end it, the hell I went through was unbearable and back I would go I feel he owns me.Mitchell I don t know how it happens, but everything is a battle, an awful gut twisting fight We get into power struggles over every little thing, from what movie to see to how much the window should be opened I think the only thing Lara and I agree on is that we d be better off without each other, but we can t let go.Jo Anne I stopped loving Dennis years ago Most nights, I dread his coming home But we have so much together the house, the kids, memories, and maybe just plain habit so that as much as I want out, the thought of his no longer being in my life and of all I d have to go through to end it makes me hang in there for another year, and then another year, and another I m becoming resigned that this is all there is for me, but I feel dead Arthur The truth is, I don t love Betsy, at least not enough to marry her, but I can t break it off I avoid meeting new women because I expect them to reject me, and that possibility terrifies me So I guess I hold on to Betsy because she s there I like knowing that at least there is someone who really cares about whether I get hit by a truck and who I can share all those little things that happen during the day, like just missing my bus or getting a new shirt things that nobody else would give a damn about.Eileen Why do I keep seeing Peter when he treats me so badly He s really cruel to me, and totally self centered I practice telling him it s over in a hundred ways I love you, but the relationship is not good for me This isn t working I don t want to see you any I ve outgrown my need for you Get lost, you selfish SOB Drop dead And sometimes I do say these things and I do end it for a week THE POWER OF SELF DECEPTIONAll of these people really believe it would be better for them to leave the relationship, but when it comes to doing so they are paralyzed In order to remain in the relationship, knowing it is against their own best interests, they frequently try to trick themselves by distorting the situation They rationalize, using good reasons to conceal other possibly unconscious reasons.Alice who is slowly going crazy with Burt s distance and disinterest I know he really loves me beneath his coldness He just has difficulty showing it Why else would he not want to break up Jason who finds Dee selfish and hurtful I know she often seems cruel and insensitive, but maybe it s just that I m being too sensitive and expecting too much.Maureen who knows Brad will never leave his wife Sometimes it feels so good between us, and he seems so loving that I can t believe he d be stupid enough to stay with her.Mitchell who fights with Lara about every little thing Maybe the fact that we fight so much shows how much we love each other.Jo Anne who stopped loving Dennis long ago Maybe love isn t very important Maybe this is all there really is for anyone.Arthur who doesn t love Betsy enough to marry her There aren t many women out there whom I would be attracted to and who would be attracted to me.Eileen who finds Peter treats her cruelly It s not that he doesn t love me He s just afraid of commitment.Rationalization is not the only self deceptive technique People sometimes hold deeply entrenched feelings and beliefs that defy logic and, worse, can blur judgment as to what is in one s own healthy self interest.Alice If I leave Burt, I know I ll be alone forever, and that s the most frightening thing I can imagine.Jason Dee often treats me like dirt Every word is a complaint, a criticism, or a command But I love her I feel I couldn t live without her.Maureen Sometimes I have this fantasy that I ll marry someone else, and Brad will stay with his wife but that we will remain lovers forever It s in our stars.Mitchell I know that we can t talk for two minutes without fighting, but when you feel the way I do about Lara, you can always work it out.Jo Anne Every time I think of leaving I feel overcome by guilt.Arthur Who else would want me Eileen Peter says he doesn t love me any, but it just can t be He loved me once, and it just doesn t disappear He has to love me.Some of these statements may sound so familiar it is hard to see what s wrong with them You ve heard them from people you know You ve read them in romantic novels You ve heard them in films, plays, and songs Perhaps you are using them now to barter away your happiness If you are, you must ask What are you protecting What are you afraid of What are the real reasons that lie behind the good reasons SOMETHING TAKES HOLD OF MEEileen is an attractive and talented twenty eight year old editor of a woman s magazine She had come to see me for psychotherapy because her physician had told her that her skin rashes and difficulty sleeping were emotional in origin For the past two years she had been involved with Peter, a dynamic and successful architect, and it was during this time that her symptoms had developed It was easy to see why At best, Peter treated her badly Often he was cruel And Eileen would put up with his treatment They would have a date, and he d fail to show up Then he might call about 2 a.m., make a weak excuse, and tell her to grab a cab and come over And she would get out of bed, dress, and take a taxi to his apartment.In one session Eileen came in glowing because Peter, uncharacteristically, had asked her to go away with him to a resort for the weekend But at the next session she was depressed and bitter As they were on their way to what she had believed would be a romantic holiday, Peter informed her that he would be attending a business conference and that she would be alone most of the time She had been furious, she yelled at him and cried, but, as so often before, he just accused her of being too demanding When they returned from the weekend, she told him that she couldn t take it any and that she didn t want to see him again He shrugged and left In less than a week, in five days of agony, sleeplessness, despair, and a blotchy rash, she found herself dialing his number, willing to go back on the most humiliating terms It s like something takes hold of me, she cried.What is it that takes hold of her Why does this capable and otherwise rational woman remain so intensely involved with a man who is consistently rejecting, who repeatedly causes her pain Why, when she tries to give up this relationship, does she experience even acute torment ADDICTION TO A PERSONLooked at closely, Eileen s attachment to Peter has all the characteristics of an addiction I am not using the term addiction symbolically or metaphorically Not only is it possible but it is extremely common for one person in a love relationship to become addicted to the other Stanton Peele, in his book Love and Addiction, recognized the addictive nature of some love relationships Reviewing many studies of drug addiction he noted a frequent conclusion that the addicting element is not so much in the substance such as alcohol or tobacco or a narcotic but in the person who is addicted In love relationships, this addictive element takes the form of a compelling need to connect with and to remain connected with a particular person But is this need always an addiction Why call it an addiction at all Why not simply call it love or preference or a sense of commitment Often there is a lot of love and commitment in an addictive relationship, but to be genuinely loving and committed one must freely choose another person, and one of the hallmarks of an addiction is that it is a compulsive drive which, by definition, means that it limits this freedom The alcoholic or drug addict feels driven toward the addictive substance even when he knows it is bad for him And when there is a strong addictive element in a relationship, the feeling is I must have this person, and I must remain attached to this person, even if this relationship is bad for me.So the first indication that we are dealing with an addiction is its compulsive quality The second is the panic one feels at the possible absence of the substance Alcoholics often feel panic when they are not sure where the next drink is coming from Drug addicts experience this fear when their supply of drugs is running out Nicotine addicts may become very uneasy about being in a place where smoking is not permitted And people in an addictive relationship may experience overwhelming panic at the thought of breaking the relationship I have often heard of people sitting at the telephone and beginning to dial the number of their partner in an unhappy love affair, determined to tell him or her that it is all over, but their anxiety becomes so great they have to hang up.The third hallmark of an addiction is the withdrawal symptoms As bad as the panic is in contemplating or moving toward a possible breakup, it cannot compare to the devastation when the breakup actually happens A person who has just ended an addictive relationship may suffer greater agony than drug addicts, smokers, and alcoholics endure when they go cold turkey, and in many ways the reaction is similar Often, for example, there is physical pain the chest, stomach, and abdomen are particularly reactive , weeping, sleep disturbances some people can t sleep, others may sleep too much , irritability, depression, and the feeling that there is no place to go and no way to end the discomfort except to go back to the old substance person The craving can become so intense it often defeats the sufferer s best intentions and drives him right back to the source of his addiction.The fourth hallmark of an addiction is that after the mourning period, there is often a sense of liberation, triumph, and accomplishment This differs from the slow, sad acceptance and healing that follows a non addictive loss.Underlying all these reactions, the essential similarity between addicts, whether their addiction is to a substance or a person, is a sense of incompleteness, emptiness, despair, sadness, and being lost that he believes he can remedy only through his connection to something or someone outside himself This something or someone becomes the center of his existence, and he is willing to do himself a great deal of damage to keep his connection with it intact.If we look back at Eileen s tie to Peter, we can see many of the signs of addiction She feels compelled to be in contact with him, she panics when she thinks about ending it, and has intense and agonizing withdrawal symptoms, including physical disturbances from which she can only find immediate relief by reestablishing a connection with him And despite her considerable accomplishments and her many appealing qualities, she has serious doubts about whether she is within herself a complete, adequate, and lovable person if she is without her connection to Peter.Are you in love or addicted How to know when to call it quitsand how to find the courage to call it quits.Are you unable to leave a love relationship even though it gives you pain than joy Your judgment and self respect tell you to end it, but still, to your dismay, you hang on.You are addicted to a person.Now there is an insightful, step by step guide to breaking that addiction and surviving the split.Drawing on dozens of provocative case histories, psychotherapist Howard Helpern explains to you Why you can get addicted to a person.Why and how you may try to deceive yourself He really loves me, he just doesn t know how to show it How you can recognize the symptoms of a bad relationship.How to deal with the power moves and guilt trips your partner uses to hold you.Why strong feelings of jealousy do not mean you are in love.How to get through the agonizing breakup period without going back.How not to get caught in such a painful relationship again From the Paperback edition. break Dizionario inglese italiano WordReference break Traduzione del vocabolo e dei suoi composti, discussioni forum Watch Full Episodes Prison Break on FOX TV Series Check out the latest news, scheduling and show information WordReference Dictionary of English bre k USA pronunciation v broke bro ken n ing, to smash, split, or divide into parts violently object He took vase it open no The cause stop working, as through wear damage I my watch My Jigsaw Puzzles Take a solve free online jigsaw puzzle Use your own photos create puzzles for Prison IMDb Due political conspiracy, an innocent man is sent death row his only hope brother, who makes mission deliberately get himself same prison in order both them out, from inside Titles Air Dates Guide epguides Sep , A guide listing titles air dates episodes series Kim Kardashian Cover PAPER Internet Unlike most people, she looks exactly person does photographs television, with one exception smaller than appears Spring Nolan Webster Spring Cancun Mexico Now you can utilize spring breaks Tripadvisor, Mexico Plan trip apple vacations Before venture must know all about dangers abroad book room at oasis Nielsen Should Get From Market WSJ For ratings data giant Nielsen Holdings, life public markets has proven difficult return private equity ownership sense, but company shouldn t be broken up Top Republicans Congress Trump over Putin Jul After President Donald s stunning news conference Monday next Russian Vladimir Putin, members including some powerful were quick rebuke How Won Bet By Loving Turkish Lira % plus gain three days betting lira shows value contrarian approach First, All Rules What World Greatest First, Managers Do Differently Marcus Buckingham, Curt Coffman, Jim Harter FREE shipping qualifying offers separates greatest managers rest They actually have vastly different styles backgrounds Yet despite their differences OHSRA Home NOTICE AND SHARE ITEMS THAT ARE REQUIRED BEFORE YOU CAN RODEO Rodeo Entry Form check attached written OHSRA Oklahoma High School Membership form Test Driven Development Give me Write More Tests You seem live world hacking together toy software One day when become ENGINEER build complex, long lived part team following modern engineering practices model driven development, design by contract upon which people well being depends, will change tune, suspect Break Rule Presentations Trainings Intelligent Misbehavior Rick foundation presentation work In he reveals hidden rules that we unconsciously agreed obey culture also how these undermine our potential excellence in Slang Terms Seventies s, words phrases helped define decade Recovering Big Femur Fracture Mountain Since then, ve been asked once suppose bit ironic after years throwing myself off jumps, round berms drop offs, biggest injury ever had would caused frickin roundabout Howard Halpern Chartered Professional Accounting Firm Business Tax Planning Preparation services We are partner where things financial tax concerned Whether contemplating start J Halpern, MD, PhD UChicago Medicine Howard PhD, specializes medical imaging techniques expert very low frequency electron paramagnetic resonance VLF EPR This technique enables measurement changes oxygen content tumor tissues key determinant response radiation therapy Dr Radiation Oncologist Burr Ridge, IL Dr oncologist Illinois affiliated multiple hospitals area, Advocate Sherman Hospital Jesse Brown Veterans Affairs M Psychotherapist Author, Dies Jan Marvin was born Bronx March youngest six children Romanian immigrants Leadership Halperns HOWARD HALPERN, Chairman As pioneer industry, acknowledged leader business meat seafood distribution His role Finally Getting It Right wise, witty, compassionate tells readers why they feel this way find healthy love without giving thrill author whose thousands, here balm everyone burned love, bracing companion journey ahead Executive Profile Biography Bloomberg Mr co founded Buckhead Beef Company serves its Chief officer Author How Your Addiction American psychotherapist mainly wrote self help books severing realigning burdensome relationships Serving president Academy Psychotherapists therapist fifty Halperns Gordon Food Service Halperns story started five decades ago, distributing perishable foods became first nation distribute boxed beef, top quality cutting shop soon followed, committed association best suppliers industry Quality Person When Why received clinical psychology Columbia University taught other colleges consultant, psychologist, several New York clinics Steps Psych Central book, Person, explains what addictive relationship is, then gives guidelines recognizing if re involved Profiles Facebook People named Find friends Facebook Log sign connect friends, family Sign Up See Photos Great Neck, Radauti United States Oncology UI Health Request Appointment Refer Patient provider experience treatment breast cancer longstanding National Institutes Health NIH funded research effort preclinical profiles LinkedIn View professionals LinkedIn There use exchange information, ideas, opportunities Medical Center degree Miami Miller Medicine practice Therapist Self Help popular relationships, died Dec Manhattan innovator entrepreneur established country beef credited major force behind development fresh portion cut steaks About Us ABOUT US With talent anticipating needs, followed Opened Gourmet Grocer, located Lenox Square, resided Halpern readies floor St Regis Lynne trade home call ultimate assisted living former owner Co sold Sysco Corp estimated hundred million dollars back isn retiring Mitchell Grave Memorial Grave, database images accessed memorial page Mitchell Aug Memorial citing Pacific Park, Corona Mar, Orange County, California, Maintained Performance Profile Insider Trading Daily Newsletter TipRanks comprehensive investing tool allows investors traders see measured performance anyone provides advice Obituary Red Bank, NJ Asbury Park Press Lee Bank age passed away peacefully sleep October Philadelphia late Robert Edith nee Goldman Microcap Small Cap Ratings Taglich Brothers Microcap companies covered How to Break Your Addiction to a Person: When--and Why--Love Doesn't Work

 

    • How to Break Your Addiction to a Person: When--and Why--Love Doesn't Work
    • 2.1
    • 91
    • Relié
    • 272 pages
    • 0553382497
    • Howard Halpern
    • Anglais
    • 01 October 2018

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