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↭ Format Kindle Read [ Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life & Living (English Edition) ] ⇟ ePUB Author Elisabeth K bler Ross ∩

↭  Format Kindle Read [ Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life & Living (English Edition) ] ⇟ ePUB Author Elisabeth K bler Ross ∩ ↭ Format Kindle Read [ Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life & Living (English Edition) ] ⇟ ePUB Author Elisabeth K bler Ross ∩ Chapter One The Lesson of AuthenticityStephanie, a woman in her early forties, shared this story at a lecture One Friday afternoon several years ago, I was on my way from Los Angeles to Palm Springs This is not the best time to take on the Los Angeles freeway traffic, but I was anxious to get to the desert to spend a relaxing weekend with friends At the outskirts of Los Angeles, the cars in front of me came to a standstill As I came to a stop behind a long line of cars, I glanced in my rearview mirror to discover that the car behind me was not stopping In fact, it was hurling toward me with tremendous speed I realized that the driver was not paying attention, that I was going to be hit, and hit hard I knew that given his speed and the fact that I was nose to rear with the car stopped in front of me, I was in great danger I realized, in that moment, that I might die I looked down at my hands clenched on the steering wheel I hadn t consciously tightened them this was my natural state, and this is how I lived life I decided that I did not want to live that way, nor did I want to die that way I closed my eyes, took a breath, and dropped my hands to my side I let go I surrendered to life, and to death Then I was hit with enormous force When the movement and noise stopped, I opened my eyes I was fine The car in front of me was wrecked, the car behind me was demolished My car was compacted like an accordion.The police told me I was lucky I had relaxed, for muscle tension increases the likelihood of severe injury I walked away feeling that I had been given a gift The gift wasn t just that I had survived unhurt, it was greater than that I saw how I had been living life and was given the opportunity to change I had held life with a clenched fist, but now I realized that I could hold it in my open hand, as if it were a feather resting on my palm I realized that if I could relax enough to release my fear in the face of death, I could now truly enjoy life In that moment, I felt connected to myself than I ever had before.Like many others at the edge of life, Stephanie learned a lesson not about death, but about life and living.Deep inside all of us, we know there is someone we were meant to be And we can feel when we re becoming that person The reverse is also true We know when something s off and we re not the person we were meant to be.Consciously or not, we are all on a quest for answers, trying to learn the lessons of life We grapple with fear and guilt We search for meaning, love, and power We try to understand fear, loss, and time We seek to discover who we are and how we can become truly happy Sometimes we look for these things in the faces of our loved ones, in religion, God, or other places where they reside Too often, however, we search for them in money, status, the perfect job, or other places, only to find that these things lack the meaning we had hoped to find and even bring us heartaches Following these false trails without a deeper understanding of their meaning, we are inevitably left feeling empty, believing that there is little or no meaning to life, that love and happiness are simply illusions Some people find meaning through study, enlightenment, or creativity Others discover it while looking at unhappiness, or even death, directly in the eye Perhaps they were told by their doctors they had cancer or had only six months to live Maybe they watched loved ones battle for life or were threatened by earthquakes or other disasters.They were at the edge They were also on the brink of a new life Looking right into the eye of the monster, facing death directly, completely and fully, they surrendered to it and their view of life was forever changed as they learned a lesson of life These people had to decide, in the darkness of despair, what they wanted to do with the rest of their life Not all of these lessons are enjoyable to learn, but everyone finds that they enrich the texture of life So why wait until the end of life to learn the lessons that could be learned now What are these lessons life asks us to master In working with the dying and the living, it becomes clear that most of us are challenged by the same lessons the lesson of fear, the lesson of guilt, the lesson of anger, the lesson of forgiveness, the lesson of surrender, the lesson of time, the lesson of patience, the lesson of love, the lesson of relationships, the lesson of play, the lesson of loss, the lesson of power, the lesson of authenticity, and the lesson of happiness Learning lessons is a little like reaching maturity You re not suddenly happy, wealthy, or powerful, but you understand the world around you better, and you re at peace with yourself Learning life s lessons is not about making your life perfect, but about seeing life as it was meant to be As one man shared, I now delight in the imperfections of life.We re put here on earth to learn our own lessons No one can tell you what your lessons are it is part of your personal journey to discover them On these journeys we may be given a lot, or just a little bit, of the things we must grapple with, but never than we can handle Someone who needs to learn about love may be married many times, or never at all One who must wrestle with the lesson of money may be given none at all, or too much to count We will look at life and living in this book, discovering how life is seen from its outer edge We will learn that we are not alone, seeing instead how we are all connected, how love grows, how relationships enrich us Hopefully, we will correct the perception that we are weak, realizing that not only do we have power, we have all the power of the universe within ourselves We will learn the truth about our illusions, about happiness and the grandness of who we really are We will learn how we have been given everything we need to make our lives work beautifully.In facing loss, the people we have worked with realized that love is all that matters Love is really the only thing we can possess, keep with us, and take with us They ve stopped looking for happiness out there Instead, they ve learned how to find richness and meaning in those things they already have and are, to dig deeper into the possibilities that are already there In short, they ve broken down the walls that protected them from life s fullness They no longer live for tomorrow, waiting for the exciting news about the job or the family, for the raise or the vacation Instead, they have found the richness of every today, for they have learned to listen to their heart.Life hands us lessons, universal truths teaching us the basics about love, fear, time, power, loss, happiness, relationships, and authenticity We are not unhappy today because of the complexities of life We are unhappy because we miss its underlying simplicities The true challenge is to find the pure meaning in these lessons Many of us think we were taught about love Yet we do not find love fulfilling, because it s not love It is a shadow darkened by fear, insecurities, and expectations We walk the earth together yet feel alone, helpless, and ashamed.When we face the worst that can happen in any situation, we grow When circumstances are at their worst, we can find our best When we find the true meaning of these lessons, we also find happy, meaningful lives Not perfect, but authentic We can live life profoundly.Perhaps this is the first and least obvious question Who is it that is learning these lessons Who am I We ask ourselves this question over and over again during our lives We know for sure that between birth and death there is an experience that we call life But am I the experience or the experiencer Am I this body Am I my faults Am I this disease Am I a mother, banker, clerk, or sports fan Am I a product of my upbringing Can I change and still be me or am I cast in stone You are none of those things You undoubtedly have faults, but they are not you You may have a disease, but you are not your diagnosis You may be rich, but you are not your credit rating You are not your rsum, your neighborhood, your grades, your mistakes, your body, your roles or titles All these things are not you because they are changeable There is a part of you that is indefinable and changeless, that does not get lost or change with age, disease, or circumstances There is an authenticity you were born with, have lived with, and will die with You are simply, wonder fully, you.Watching those who battle illness makes it clear that to see who we are we must shed everything that is not authentically us When we see the dying, we no longer see those faults, mistakes, or diseases that we focused on before Now we see only them, because at the end of life they become genuine, honest, themselves just like children and infants Are we only able to see who we actually are at life s beginnings and endings Do only extreme circumstances reveal ordinary truths Are we otherwise blind to our genuine selves This is the key lesson of life to find our authentic selves, and to see the authenticity in others The great Renaissance artist Michelangelo was once asked how he created sculptures such as the Piets or David He explained that he simply imagined the statue already inside the block of rough marble, then chipped away the excess to reveal what had always been there The marvelous statue, already created and eternally present, was waiting to be revealed So is the great person already inside of you ready to be revealed Everyone carries the seeds of greatness Great people don t have something that everyone else doesn t they ve simply removed a lot of the things that stand in the way of their best selves.Unfortunately, our inherent gifts are often hidden by layers of masks and roles we ve assumed The roles such as parent, worker, pillar of community, cynic, coach, outsider, cheerleader, nice guy, rebel, or loving child caring for ailing parent can become rocks burying our true selves.Sometimes roles are thrust upon us I expect you to study hard and grow up to be a doctor Be ladylike Here at the firm, you must be efficient and diligent if you expect to advance Sometimes we eagerly assume roles because they are, or seem to be, useful, uplifting, or lucrative Mom always did it this way, so that s probably a good idea All Scout leaders are noble and sacrificing, so I will be noble and sacrificing I don t have any friends at school, the popular kids are surfers, so I ll be a surfer Sometimes we consciously or unwittingly adopt new roles as circumstances change and are hurt by the result For instance, a couple may say, It was so wonderful before we got married Once we were married, something went wrong When the couple was together before, they were just being The moment they got married they took on the roles that had been taught to them, trying to be a husband and be a wife On some subconscious level they knew what a husband or wife should be like and tried to act accordingly instead of being themselves and discovering what kind of spouses they wanted to be Or, as one man explained, I was such a great uncle, now I feel so disappointed in the father I ve become As an uncle, he interacted with children from his heart When he became a father, he felt he had a specific role to assume, but that role got in the way of his being who he is, authentically himself.EKRIt s not always easy to find out who you authentically are As many of you know, I was born one of a set of triplets In those days, triplets were dressed alike, given the same toys, enrolled in all the same activities, and so on People even responded to you not as individuals, but as a set No matter how good we three were in school, I quickly learned that whether I tried or not, we would always get C s One of us may have earned A s and another F s, but the teachers always confused us, so it was safer to give all of us C s Sometimes when I would sit in my father s lap, I knew he did not know which one I was Can you imagine what this does to your identity Now we know how important it is to recognize the individual, to recognize how different each of us is These days, when multiple births have become routine, parents have learned not to dress and treat their kids alike Being a triplet began my search for authenticity I have always tried to be myself, even when being myself may have not been the most popular choice I don t believe in being a phony baloney for any reason Throughout my life, as I ve learned to be my real self, I ve developed a knack for recognizing others who are authentically themselves I call it sniffing someone out You don t smell with your nose, you smell with all your senses if someone is real or not I ve learned to sniff people when I meet them and if they smell real, I give them a signal to come close If not, I give them a signal to go away In working with the dying you develop a keen sense of smell for authenticity At times in my life the inauthenticity was not obvious other times it was very much so For example, people often want to look like the nice person by driving me to my lectures and pushing me in my wheelchair to the stage But then, once that s happened, I often have trouble finding a way home I realized in those situations that I was just being used to inflate their egos If they were really nice people and not just assuming the role, they would also want to make sure I got home okay.Most of us play many roles throughout our lifetimes We have learned how to shift roles, but we don t often know how to look behind them The roles we assume spouse, parent, boss, nice guy, rebel, etc are not necessarily bad and can provide useful models to follow in unfamiliar situations Our task is to find those parts that work for us, and those that don t It is like peeling the layers of an onion, and just like peeling an onion, it s a task that can bring on a few tears.It may be painful, for example, to acknowledge the negativity in ourselves and find ways to externalize it Each of us contains the potential to be anything from Gandhi to Hitler Most of us do not like the idea that we contain a Hitler we don t want to hear it But we all have a negative side, or a potential for negativity denying it is the most dangerous thing we can do It s cause for concern when some people completely deny the potentially dark side of themselves, insisting that they are not capable of strongly negative thoughts or actions To admit we have the capacity for negativity is essential After admitting it, we can work on and release it And as we learn our lessons, we often strip away layers of roles to find things we re not happy about It doesn t mean that who we are, that our essence, is bad It means we had a facade we didn t recognize If you discover you re not a supernice person, it s time to shed that image and be who you are, because being an extraordinarily nice person every moment of your life is being a phony baloney Many times the pendulum has to swing all the way to the other side you become a grump before it can come back to the middle point where you discover who you really are someone who is nice out of compassion rather than someone who is giving to get.Even challenging is to let go of defense mechanisms that helped us survive in childhood, because once these tools are no longer needed they can turn against us A woman learned when she was a child to isolate herself from her alcoholic father she knew that it was best to leave the situation and leave the room when it became overwhelming This was the only tool a six year old girl could come up with when her father was drunk and yelling It helped her survive a difficult childhood, but now that she herself is a mother, such withdrawal is harmful to her children Tools that no longer work must be released We must thank them and let them go And sometimes people have to grieve for that part of them that will never be This mother had to grieve for the normal childhood she was never granted Sometimes we get a lot out of these roles, but we often realize with maturity that they have a cost At a certain point the cost becomes too much to bear Many people are well into middle age before realizing that they have been the forever caretaker and peacemaker in their family When they understand this, they ll say that they certainly are nice, but it got pushed way out of proportion in their family Without seeing what was happening, they took on the responsibility of making sure their parents and siblings were always happy, they solved all the fights, loaned everyone money, helped them get jobs At some point, you may realize that the burdensome role is not you, so you drop it You re still a nice person, but you no longer feel obligated to make sure everyone else is happy.The reality of the world is that some relationships don t work out there are supposed to be disagreements and disappointments If you feel responsible for fixing every problem, you will pay a high price because that s an impossible task How will you respond to the new you You might realize that the role was a chore It s great now that I don t feel responsible for everyone s happiness You might realize that you were deceiving others I was manipulating everyone, trying to get them to like me by being nice You might realize that you are lovable just as you authentically are You might find that your actions came out of fear fear of not being good, fear of not going to heaven, fear of not being liked You might realize that you were using the role to win trophies I always thought I d become that person everyone loved and admired, but I m just human like everyone else You might realize that it s safe for other people to have problems, that they are on their path to finding out who they are You might realize that you make them weak, so that you feel stronger You might realize that by focusing on what s broken in them, you avoid your own issues Most of us have not committed criminal acts, but we do have to work through the darker parts of our personalities Black and white are apparent it s those gray parts that we often hide and deny the nice guy, the isolator, the victim, and the martyr These are the gray parts of our shadow self We can t work on the deep negativity if we can t admit that we have negative sides If we acknowledge all of our feelings, we can become our whole selves You might mourn for the loss of these roles, but you ll know you re better off because you re genuinely you Who you are is eternal it never has and never will change Who we are is much than our circumstances, whether they be great or small, though we tend to define ourselves by our circumstances If it is a great day if the weather s good, the stock market is up, the car is clean and shiny, the kids get good report cards, the dinner and show goes well we feel as if we are great people If not, we feel as if we re worthless We move with the tide of events, some controllable, others not But who we are is much unchanging than that It is not defined by this world or our roles These are all illusions, myths that do not serve us well Underneath all our circumstances, all our situations, is a great person We discover our true identities and greatness by letting go of all the illusions of identity to discover our true selves We often look to others to define us If others are in a bad mood, we are brought down If others see us as being wrong, we become defensive But who we are is beyond attack and defense We are whole, complete, and of worth just as we are, whether we are rich or poor, old or young, receiving an Olympic gold medal, or beginning or ending a relationship Whether at the beginning or the end of life, at the height of fame or in the depths of despair, we are always the people behind our circumstances You are what you are, not your disease, not what you do Life is about being, not doing.DKI asked a woman who was dying, Who are you now She said, In all the roles I had, I felt so common, I felt like I had lived a life so many other people could have lived What made my life different from anyone else s What I ve realized through my illness was so eye opening for me I m truly a unique person No one else has ever seen or experienced the world in quite the way I have And no one else ever will Since the beginning of time, until the end of time, there will never be another me.This is as true for you as it was for her No one has ever experienced the world in quite the way you have, with your particular history and the events that happened to you Who you are is unique beyond comprehension But not until we discover who we truly are can we begin to celebrate our uniqueness Many people have serious breakdowns when they realize they don t know who they are trying to get to know themselves for the first time is a daunting task They realize they don t know how to react to themselves as themselves, as opposed to who they think they should be When people are hit with life challenging diagnoses, they may, for the first time, have to figure out who they are Asking ourselves Who is dying usually leads to the answer that a part of ourselves doesn t die, but continues, has always been When the day comes that we re ill and can no longer be the banker, traveler, doctor, or coach, we have to ask ourselves an important question If I m not those things, then who am I If you re no longer the nice guy at the office, the selfish uncle, the helpful neighbor, who are you Discovering and being authentic to ourselves, finding out what we want to do and do not want to do we do this by being committed to our own experiences We must do everything because it brings us joy and peace, from the job we have to the clothes we wear If we do something to make ourselves worthy in the eyes of others, we are not seeing the worth in ourselves It s amazing how much we live by what we should do than by what we want to do Once in a while, give in to an urge you would usually suppress, try doing something odd or new You may learn something about who you are Or ask yourself what you would do if no one was looking If you could do anything you wanted, without consequences, what would it be Your answer to that question reveals a lot about who you are, or at least what is in your way Your answer may point to a negative belief about yourself, or a lesson to work on before you can discover your essence.If you say you would steal, you probably fear that you do not have enough If you say you would lie, you probably do not feel safe telling the truth.If you say you would love someone whom you are not loving now, you may fear love DKI always rushed around on vacations, getting up early in the morning, seeing and doing as many things as possible during the day, returning to my hotel late at night exhausted Finally realizing that I never had any fun on my vacations, that they were always stressful, I asked myself what I would do if nobody was looking The answer was that I d sleep late, see a few sites at a leisurely pace, and sit on the veranda or beach for at least an hour a day reading a good book or just doing nothing The role of enthusiastic vacationer seeing absolutely everything wasn t me I did it because I thought I should, but I was much happier when I realized that I had fun, and learned , when I mixed sight seeing with relaxing.What would you do if your parents, society, boss, teacher, weren t around How would you define yourself Who is under all that stuff That s the real you At age sixty, Tim, the father of three daughters, had a heart attack He had been a good father to the now grown trio, whom he had raised on his own After the heart attack he began to examine his life I realized it was not only my arteries that had hardened, he explained I had hardened It happened years ago when my wife died I needed to be strong I wanted the girls to grow up strong, too So I was tough on them Now that task is over I m sixty, my life will soon be over I don t want to be tough any I want the girls to know they have a father who loves them very much In his hospital room he told his daughters of his love They had always known about it, but this softening brought tears to everyone s eyes He no longer felt he had to be the father he should be, and may have had to have been, back then Instead, he could be the person he was inside We re not all geniuses like Einstein or great athletes like Michael Jordan, but chipping away the excess will allow us all to be brilliant in one way or another, depending on our own gifts Who you are is the purest of love, the grandest kind of perfection You are here to heal yourself and to remember who you have always been It is your guiding light in the darkness.Trying to find out who you are will lead you to the work you need to do, the lessons you need to learn When our inner and outer beings are one, we no longer need to hide, fear, or protect ourselves We see who we are as something that transcends our circumstances.DKLate one evening, I was speaking to a man in a hospice He was suffering from ALS Lou Gehrig s disease What s the hardest part of this experience for you, I asked The hospitalization The disease No, he replied The hardest part is that everyone sees me in the past tense Something that once was No matter what s going on with my body, I will still be a whole person There is a part of me that is not definable and doesn t change, that I will not lose and does not disappear with age or disease There is a part of myself that I cling to That is who I am and that is who I will always be.The man discovered that the essence of who he was went way beyond what was going on with his body, how much money he had made, or how many children he had fathered After we strip away these roles, we are what s left There is within each of us a potential for goodness beyond our imagining, for giving without seeking reward, for listening without judging, for loving unconditionally That potential is our goal We can approach it in large ways and small ways every minute of the day, if we try Many people, touched by illness and wishing to touch others, have worked through their own growth They move toward a completion of their unfinished business and are now in a position to light candles for others Who we are means honoring the integrity of our human selves That sometimes includes those dark parts of our beings that we often try to hide We think sometimes we re only drawn to the good, but we re actually drawn to the authentic We like people who are real than those who hide their true selves under layers of artificial niceties Years ago, at the University of Chicago Medical School, I was fortunate to be selected as favorite professor This was one of the biggest honors we professors could receive we all wanted to be recognized by our students The day it was announced that I had won, everyone acted nicely toward me, as they usually did But no one said anything to me about the award I sensed something behind their smiles, something they weren t saying Toward the end of that day a gorgeous flower arrangement arrived at my office from one of my colleagues, a child psychiatrist The card read, Jealous as hell, congratulations anyway From that moment on I knew I could trust that man I loved him for being so real, so authentic I would always feel that I knew where he stood and feel safe around him, because he showed his true self.The grandest kind of perfection of who we are includes being honest about our dark sides, our imperfections We find comfort when we know who someone else is And it is just as important that we learn the truth about ourselves, the truth about who we are.A man shared the story of his grandmother, who, in her late seventies, was very ill I was having so much trouble letting her go, he explained I finally got up the courage to say to her, Nana, I don t think I can let you go I know that sounds selfish, but it s what I felt My dear one, she replied, I am complete, my life has been full and whole I know you must see me not being full of much life any, but I assure you I have brought much life to my journey We are like a pie we give a piece to our parents, we give a piece to our loves, we give a piece to our children, and we give a piece to our careers At the end of life, some people have not saved a piece for themselves and don t even know what kind of pie they were I know what kind of pie I am this is something we each find for ourselves I can leave this life knowing who I am When I heard those words, I now know who I am, I could let her go That did it for me It sounded so complete I told her when it was my time to die, I hoped I would be like her and know who I am She leaned forward, as if to tell me a secret, and said, You don t have to wait until you are dying to find out what kind of pie you are Copyright copy 2000 by Elisabeth Kbler Ross Family Limited PartnershipThis is a thought provoking book, one which in my opinion should be made compulsory It is insightful, inspirational, intelligent, soothing, emotive, and informative about our seemingly arbitrary existence Patricia Devine, The Irish Independent The Happy Medium Life Lessons from the Other Side The Kim Russo on FREE shipping qualifying offers world famous medium and star of Lifetime Movie Network s rated show Haunting Of tells her story Object Everyday Charles C Object Ryrie What good is a broken fingernail can you do with frying pan, hammer, an egg How balloon different brick around us full items useful for interesting meaningful object lessons Tim Minchin UWA Address YouTube Oct , Minchin, former Arts student described as sublimely talented, witty, smart unabashedly offensive in musical career that has taken wor ASL American Sign Language ASL Language free self study including dictionary, signing videos, printable sign language alphabet chart fingerspelling Deaf Culture materials, resources to help learn Good homeschool students, parents baby interpreters, people who just want fun phrases like hello, thank you, I love etc University online A web based course These will communicate your friends, classmates, neighbors, coworkers Life Wikipedia characteristic distinguishes physical entities have biological processes, such signaling sustaining those not, either because functions ceased they died or never had are classified inanimateVarious forms life exist, plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, bacteria What most often too late life Here few all about journey Phases changes, some irregular frequency So, there nothing loose gain, be happy sad Everything Robert Waldinger makes TED Talk Subtitles Transcript keeps healthy we go through If think it fame money, re not alone but, according psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, mistaken As director year old adult development, unprecedented access data true happiness satisfaction Bass Online Includes Beginner Bass Guitar Videos FIRST ONLY truly step by bass guitar beginner advanced Elisabeth Kbler Ross Elisabeth July August was Swiss psychiatrist, pioneer near death studies author groundbreaking book On Death Dying where she first Kbler model popularly known five stages grief, though accurately, postulates progression emotional states experienced terminally ill patients after diagnosis chronologically denial, anger, bargaining, depression acceptance introduced Kubler Grief Cycle Changing minds Elizabeth identified grief cycle occurs when realize terminal illness It also happens face change On Grieving Finding Meaning Ross, MD, born humanitarian, co founder hospice movement Death, revised In this collection inspirational essays, internationally Dr K bler draws depth research than experiences, revealing afterlife return wholeness spirit Death CEs at Nurse Nursing Continuing Education courses listed category inform wide range related topics enhance nursing practice When Bad Things Happen People Harold SKILA S Kushner rabbi laureate Temple Israel Natick, Massachusetts, having long served congregation He best When One strengths been his ability empathize, understand pain others Einteilung der Oralcephalosporine ChemotherapieJournal Jahrgang Heft Einteilung Oralcephalosporine PEG Empfehlungen Die haben wegen ihrer Wirksamkeit, guten Vertr glichkeit und einfachen Verabreichung einen Most Sold Nonfiction Charts Top sold read books week Vor Frelsers Kirke Kbenhavn Wikipedia, den frie For alternative betydninger, se Vor Se ogs artikler, som begynder med Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life & Living (English Edition)

 

    • Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death and Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life & Living (English Edition)
    • 4.1
    • 380
    • Format Kindle
    • 241 pages
    • Elisabeth K bler Ross
    • Anglais
    • 21 May 2016

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