ಳ free ᘷ Skinny Dip online ೊ ePUB By Carl Hiaasen ೩

ಳ free ᘷ Skinny Dip online ೊ ePUB By Carl Hiaasen ೩ ಳ free ᘷ Skinny Dip online ೊ ePUB By Carl Hiaasen ೩ One At the stroke of eleven on a cool April night, a woman named Joey Perrone went overboard from a luxury deck of the cruise liner M.V Sun Duchess Plunging toward the dark Atlantic, Joey was too dumbfounded to panic.I married an asshole, she thought, knifing headfirst into the waves.The impact tore off her silk skirt, blouse, panties, wristwatch and sandals, but Joey remained conscious and alert Of course she did She had been co captain of her college swim team, a biographical nugget that her husband obviously had forgotten.Bobbing in its fizzy wake, Joey watched the gaily lit Sun Duchess continue steaming away at twenty nautical miles per hour Evidently only one of the other 2,049 passengers was aware of what had happened, and he wasnt telling anybody.Bastard, Joey thought.She noticed that her bra was down around her waist, and she wriggled free of it To the west, under a canopy of soft amber light, the coast of Florida was visible Joey began to swim.The water of the Gulf Stream was slightly warmer than the air, but a brisk northeasterly wind had kicked up a messy and uncomfortable chop Joey paced herself To keep her mind off sharks, she replayed the noteworthy events of the week long cruise, which had begun almost as unpromisingly as it had ended.The Sun Duchess had departed Port Everglades three hours late because a raccoon had turned up berserk in the pastry kitchen One of the chefs had wrestled the frothing critter into a sixty gallon tin of guava custard before it had shredded the mans jowls and humped snarling to the depths of the ship A capture team from Broward Animal Control had arrived, along with health inspectors and paramedics Evacuated passengers were appeased with rum drinks and canaps.Later, while reboarding, Joey had passed the Animal Control officers trudging empty handed down the gangplank.I bet they couldnt catch it, shed whispered to her husband Despite the inconvenience caused by the raccoon, shed found herself rooting for the addled little varmint.Rabies, her husband had said knowingly Damn thing lays a claw on me, Ill own this frigging cruise line.Oh, please, Chaz.From then on, you can call me Onassis Think Im kidding The Sun Duchess was 855 feet long and weighed a shade than seventy thousand tons Joey had learned this from a brochure shed found in their stateroom The itinerary included Puerto Rico, Nassau and a private Bahamian island that the cruise lines had purchased rumor had it from the widow of a dismembered heroin trafficker The last port of call before the ship returned to Fort Lauderdale was to be Key West.Chaz had selected the cruise himself, claiming it was a present for their wedding anniversary The first evening hed spent on the fantail, slicing golf balls into the ocean Initially Joey had been annoyed that the Sun Duchess would offer a driving range, much less a fake rock climbing wall and squash courts She and Chaz could have stayed in Boca and done all that.No less preposterous was the ships tanning parlor, which received heavy traffic whenever the skies turned overcast The cruise company wanted every passenger to return home with either a bronze glow or a crimson burn, proof of their seven days in the tropics.As it turned out, Joey wound up scaling the rock wall and tak ing full advantage of the other amenities, even the two lane bowling alley The alternative was to eat and drink herself sick, gluttony being the principal recreation aboard cruise liners The Sun Duchess was renowned for its twenty four hour surf and turf buffets, and thats how Joeys husband had spent the hours between ports.Pig, she thought, submerging to shed a clot of seaweed that had wrapped around her neck like a sodden yule garland.Each days sunrise had brought a glistening new harbor, yet the towns and straw markets were drearily similar, as if designed and operated by a franchise Joey had earnestly tried to be charmed by the native wares, though many appeared to have been crafted in Singapore or South Korea And what would one do with a helmet conch clumsily retouched with nail polish Or a coconut husk bearing a hand painted likeness of Prince Harry So grinding was the role of tourist that Joey had found herself looking forward to visiting the ships unspoiled private island, as it had been touted in the brochure Yet that, too, proved dispiriting The cruise line had mendaciously renamed the place Rapture Key while making only a minimal effort at restoration Roosters, goats and feral hogs were the predominant fauna, having outlasted the smuggler who had been raising them for banquet fare The islands sugar dough flats were pocked with hulks of sunken drug planes, and the only shells to be found along the tree shorn beach were of the.45 caliber variety.Im gonna rent a Jet Ski, Chaz had cheerily decreed.Ill try to find some shade, Joey had said, and finish my book.The distance between them remained wide and unexplored By the time the Sun Duchess had reached Key West, Joey and Chaz were spending only about one waking hour a day together, an interval usually devoted to either sex or an argument It was pretty much the same schedule they kept at home.So much for the romantic latitudes, Joey had thought, wishing she felt sadder than she did.When her husband had scampered off to check out the action at Mallory Square, she briefly considered seducing one of the cabin attendants, a fine Peruvian brute named Tico Ultimately Joey had lost the urge, dismissing the crestfallen young fellow with a peck on the chin and a fifty dollar tip She didnt feel strongly enough about Chaz to cheat on him even out of spite, although she suspected hed cheated on her often and quite possibly during the cruise.Upon returning to the Sun Duchess, Chaz had been as chatty as a cockatoo on PCP.See all those clouds Its about to rain, hed proclaimed with a peculiar note of elation.I guess that means no golf tonight, Joey had said.Hey, I counted twenty six T shirt shops on Duval Street No wonder Hemingway blew his brains out.That wasnt here, Joey had informed him That was in Idaho.How about some chow I could eat a whale.At dinner Chaz had kept refilling Joeys wineglass, over her protests Now she understood why.She felt it, too, that dehydrated alcohol fatigue Shed been kicking hard up the crests of the waves and then breast stroking down the troughs, but now she was losing both her rhythm and stamina This wasnt the heated Olympic pool at UCLA it was the goddamn Atlantic Ocean Joey scrunched her eyelids to dull the saltwater burn.I had a feeling he didnt love me any, she thought, but this is ridiculous.Chaz Perrone listened for a splash but heard nothing except the deep lulling rumble of the ships engines Head cocked slightly, he stood at the rail as solitary and motionless as a heron.He hadnt planned to toss her here He had hoped to do it earlier in the voyage, somewhere between Nassau and San Juan, with the expectation that the currents would carry her body into Cuban waters, safely out of U.S jurisdiction.If the bull sharks didnt find her first.Unfortunately, the weather had been splendid during that early leg of the cruise, and every night the outside decks were crowded with moony eyed couples Chazs scheme required seclusion and hed nearly abandoned hope, when the rain arrived, three hours after leaving Key West It was only a drizzle, but Chaz knew it would drive the tourists indoors, stampeding for the lobster salad and electronic poker machines.The second crucial element of his plot was surprise, Joey being a physically well tuned woman and Chaz himself being somewhat softer and out of shape Before luring her toward the stern of the Sun Duchess under the ruse of a starlit stroll, hed made certain that his wife had consumed plenty of red wine four and a half glasses, by his count Two was usually enough to make her drowsy.Chaz, its sprinkling, she had observed as they approached the rail.Naturally shed been puzzled, knowing how her husband despised getting wet The man owned no less than seven umbrellas.Pretending not to hear her, he had guided Joey forward by the elbow My stomachs a disaster I think its time they retired that seviche, dont you Lets go back inside, Joey had suggested.From a pocket of his blue blazer Chaz had surreptitiously removed the key to their stateroom and let it fall to the polished planks at his feet Oops.Chaz, its getting chilly out here.I think I dropped our key, hed said, stooping to find it Or so Joey had assumed.He could only guess what had shot through his wifes mind when shed felt him grab her ankles Hes gotta be kidding, is what shed probably thought.The act itself was a rudimentary exercise in leverage, really, flipping her backward over the rail It had happened so fast, she hadnt made a peep.As for the splash, Chaz would have preferred to hear it a soft punctuation to the marriage and the crime Then again, it was a long way down to the water.He allowed himself a brief glance, but saw only whitecaps and foam in the roiling reflection of the ships lights The Sun Duchess kept moving, which was a relief No Klaxons sounded.Chaz picked up the key and hurried to the stateroom, bolting the door behind him After hanging up his blazer, he opened another bottle of wine, poured some into two glasses and drank half of each.Joeys suitcase lay open for re packing, and Chaz moved it from the bed to the floor He splayed his own travel bag and went foraging for an antacid Beneath a stack of neatly folded boxersJoey was a champion packer, he had to admitChaz came upon a box wrapped in tartan style gift paper with green ribbon.Inside the box was a gorgeous set of leather golf club covers that were embossed with his initials, C.R.P There was also a card Happy 2nd Anniversary Love always, Joey.Admiring the silken calfskin sheaths, Chaz felt a knot of remorse in his gut It passed momentarily, like acid reflux.His wife had class, no doubt about it If only she hadnt been so damn observant.In exactly six hours he would report her missing.Chaz stripped to his underwear and lobbed his clothes in a corner Packed inside his carry on was a paperback edition of Madame Bovary, which he opened randomly and placed for effect on the nightstand by Joeys side of the bed.Then Charles Regis Perrone set his alarm clock, laid his head on the pillow and went to sleep.The Gulf Stream carried Joey northward at almost four knots She knew shed have to swim harder if she didnt want to end up bloated and rotting on some sandbar in North Carolina.But, Lord, she was tired.Had to be the wine Chaz knew she wasnt much of a drinker, and obviously hed planned it all in advance Probably hoped that the fall from the ship would break her legs or knock her unconscious, and if it didnt, so what Shed be miles from land in a pitching black ocean, and scared shitless Nobody would find her even if they went looking, and shed drown from exhaustion before daylight.Thats what Chaz probably figured.He hadnt forgotten about her glory days at UCLA, either, Joey realized He knew she would start swimming, if she somehow survived the fall In fact, he was counting on her to swim betting that his stubborn and prideful wife would wear herself out when she should have tucked into a floating position and conserved her strength until sunrise At least then shed have a speck of a chance to be seen by a passing ship.Sometimes I wonder about myself, Joey thought.Once a tanker passed so close that it blocked out the moon The ships silhouette was squat and dark and squared at both ends, like a high rise condo tipped on its side Joey had hollered and waved, but there was no chance of being heard above the clatter of the engines The tanker pushed by, a russet wall of noise and fumes, and Joey resumed swimming.Soon her legs started going numb, a spidery tingle that began in her toes and crept upward Muscle cramps wouldnt have surprised her, but the slow deadening did She found herself laboring to keep her face above the waves, and eventually she sensed that shed stopped kicking altogether Toward the end she switched to the breaststroke, her legs trailing like pale broken cables.Weve only been married two years, she was thinking What did I do to deserve this To take her mind off dying, Joey composed a mental list of the things that Chaz didnt like about her 1 She tended to overcook fowl, particularly chicken, due to a lifelong fear of salmonella.2 The facial moisturizing cream that she applied at night smelled vaguely like insecticide.3 Sometimes she dozed off during hockey games, even the play offs.4 She refused to go down on him while he was driving on Interstate 95, the Sunshine State Parkway or any surface road where the posted speed limit exceeded fifty miles per hour.5 She could whip him at tennis whenever she felt like it.6 She occasionally misplaced his favorite George Thorogood CDs.7 She declined to entertain the possibility of inviting his hairstylist over for a threesome.8 She belonged to a weekly book group.9 She had money than he did.10 She brushed with baking soda instead of toothpaste Come on, Joey thought.A guy doesnt suddenly decide to murder his wife just because she serves a chewy Cornish hen.Maybe its another woman, Joey thought But then why not just ask me for a divorce She didnt have the energy to sort it all out Shed married a worthless horndog and now hed heaved her overboard on their anniversary cruise and very soon she would drown and be devoured by sharks Out here you had the big boys blacktips, lemons, hammerheads, tigers, makos and bulls Please, God, dont let them eat me, Joey thought, until after Ive died.The same warm tingle was starting in her fingertips and soon, she knew, both arms would be as spent and useless as her legs Her lips had gone raw from the salt, her tongue was swollen like a kielbasa and her eyelids were puffy and crusted Still, the lights of Florida beckoned like stardust whenever she reached the top of a wave.So Joey struggled on, believing she still had a slender chance of survival If she made it across the Gulf Stream, shed finally be able to rest ball up and float until the sun came up.She had momentarily forgotten about the sharks, when something heavy and rough skinned butted against her left breast Thrashing and grunting, she beat at the thing with both fists until the last of her strength was gone.Cavitating into unconsciousness, she was subjected to a flash vision of Chaz in their stateroom aboard the Sun Duchess, screwing a blond croupier before heading aft for one final bucket of balls.Prick, Joey thought.Then the screen in her head went blank.A screwball delight so full of bright, deft, beautifully honed humor You d follow Hiaasen anywhere The New York Times A whopping cannonball splash of fun Hooray for Hiaasens world Los Angeles TimesBarking mad Here Hiaasen is at his best The Balti Sun It doesnt do Carl Hiaasen justice to call him Floridas funniest state product Hiaasen is something bigger a superb national satirist and a great American writer Entertainment Weekly Hilarious Like the characters, the plot is a hoot, but the real laughs are in Hiaasen s telling People Critics Choice Confident and determinedly wacky.Skinny Dipthrives when Hiaasen and his heroes let their prankster spirits run amok Riotous fun A.V Club Bitingly satirical, sublimely zany, and deeply satisfying Kirkus Reviews Hiaasen s signature mix of hilariously over the top villains, lovable innocents, and righteous indignation at what mankind has done to his beloved Florida wilderness is all present in riotous abundance Hiaasen s books are so enjoyable it s always a sad moment when they end Publishers Weekly Another delirious romp through the swamps of South Florida from the irrepressible Carl Hiaasen A corker, chock full of belly laughs and blistering truths Booklist starred review From the Trade Paperback edition. Skinny Dip Skink Series Fulfillment by FBA is a service we offer sellers that lets them store their products in s fulfillment centers, and directly pack, ship, provide customer for these The Frozen Yogurt Bar More since Since , have been serving up delicious, nutritious treats ever opening the first location Landstown Commons Virginia Beach Skinny Dip blog about life, love, sex, relationships everything between A Designer Collective The designer collective women, men, kids home with retail stores Charleston Nantucket Carl Hiaasen Books on FREE shipping qualifying offers Chaz Perrone might be only marine scientist world who doesn t know which way Gulf Stream runs He also one went into biology just to make killing Skinnydip London Skinnydip London based fashion brand bringing you range of creative iPhone cases, bags, headphones, beauty products, travel tech accessories Hiaasen, Paperback Auto Suggestions are available once type at least letters Use arrow mozilla firefox browser alt down review enter select Nude swimming, or skinny dipping, practice bathing naked, originally natural bodies water, but pools hot tubsThe term dipping was being immersed spring waters, health reasons spa towns widespread social convention today swimmers especially public places wear swimsuits Inn Second Life beautiful adult island resort friendly fun nude beach Swimwear permitted modest Enjoy flirty hosts sexy DJs, events live shows Porn Videos Sex Movies Redtube Tons free porn videos XXX movies waiting Redtube Find best right here discover why our sex tube visited millions lovers daily Nothing highest qualityCarl Official Web Site born raised Florida, where he still lives his family graduate University age joined Miami Herald as general assignment reporter work newspaper weekly magazine prize winning investigations team Wikipedia h n March an American writerA long time columnist Herald, has written than novels can generally classified humorous crime fiction often feature themes environmentalism political corruption Columnist Herald Evangelical leaders were too silent There strange, sluggish response some evangelical leaders, whose notion biblical mercy shines less brightly Flush Flush Take romp swamp this New York Times bestselling mystery adventure set Florida Keys from Newbery Honoree Noah dad sure owner Coral Queen casino boat flushing raw sewage harbor made taking dip local like swimming toilet Rob Capital Gazette editor brother author Rob identified Thursday night five people died newsroom shooting Annapolis, Md Columnist South Maryland, Skinny Dip


    • Skinny Dip
    • 1.3
    • 51
    • ReliĆ©
    • 0739320874
    • Carl Hiaasen
    • Anglais
    • 27 December 2017

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